Barbie and Skipper
by Jackie Potansas
Summary: Elliot's sister comes to Sacred Heart and reveals a surprising past with someone at the hospital.
1. Skipper's Arrival

Elliot was a giddy little bee, prancing through the halls like nobody's business, almost running into Dr. Kelso. He stopped short, and dropped all the charts in his hand.

"Dr. Kelso, I am so sorry! I-I..." Elliot bent down to help him pick up the loose papers and charts. "I'm just really excited. You see, my sister is coming to town, and I haven't seen her in forever-" Dr. Kelso grabbed the charts from her hand and rose. Elliot followed suit.

"Now listen here, Dr. Reid. I don't give a rat's ass about any member of your family. Except, maybe that gay brother of yours. Harrison went through a rough breakup, and he needs a rebound man. But anyway, don't parade around my hospital, filling us all in on your personal life, because I'll tell you a secret: we don't care." Dr. Kelso strutted away, while Elliot recoiled. A smile crept to Elliot's face when she realized she could make Dr. Kelso care.

"She used to be a model!" Elliot called after him, a bemused grin spreading upon her face. Dr. Kelso turned around and was immediately at her side.

"So tell me more about this sister of yours."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A crowd of men (mostly surgeons) gathered around Elliot as she gabbed about her sister.

"And I think she did something for some sports magazine...I don't really know though, because she doesn't play sports..." Christopher Turk's eyes bulged as he excitedly replied,

"You mean like Sports Illustrated?" Elliot nodded.

"Yep, yes, that's it. Ooh, I remember, it was for swimming!" Elliot could almost drown in the drool that poured from the male doctors and surgeons huddled around her.

"Okay, it's crucial you tell me which year she did the swimsuit issue!" Turk cried. Elliot pondered this.

"I'm pretty sure it was 2001. Yeah, I can almost swear by it." J.D. ran up, out of breath, with the 2001 swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated in his hand. He quickly flipped to a page and held it up.

"Is this her?" Elliot shook her head.

"No, she's much blonder." Turk gazed at the magazine with him.

"Dude, when did you go get that?" J.D. shrugged.

"Two seconds ago, I just got it from one of my patients. He happened to open it on this page, so I took a chance." Turk pat him on the back.

"Way to go man!" He took the magazine and flipped through it. "Kay Elliot, come here and tell me when I've found her." Elliot narrowed her eyes.

"You know, I just realized this could be degrading to my sister, and to all women in general. I am not willing to divulge anymore!" Elliot looked down at the magazine. "Oh, and uh, that's her." She skipped off, with a sense of pride and femininity. The entire male staff at Sacred Heart, however, preserved their masculinity by staring at Elliot's sister and her half-nakedness.

"Dude, I cannot wait until this girl gets here!" Todd cried, dancing with excitement. Carla appeared, as if from nowhere, and snuck a peek at what the boys were looking at.

"Who is that?" She said icily, her obvious annoyance with her husband and the males of Sacred Heart. Turk poked his head from above the crowd and cast a guilty glance to his wife. J.D. followed suit.

"Baby, that's Elliot's sister!" Carla raised an eyebrow.

"What's her name?" Turk pulled on his "thinking face" and finally spit out,

"Elliot's hot sister?"

"HELLLOOO!" J.D. cried, as he raised his hand for a good high-five. Todd wrestled himself from the crowd and smacked J.D.'s hand.

"What? I can't resist a good hand-slappin', even if it isn't some kind of sexual innuendo. By the way J.D., your package is looking great today!" Todd left, feeling satisfied, while he left a confused and perpetually disgusted J.D. at the Nurse's Station.

"You know, we should really find Dr. Cox. He should be able to share in the glory of Elliot's sister's half-nakedness." Carla rolled her eyes, ignored J.D.'s comment, and began to file papers behind the counter. A loud whistle sounded from behind J.D., and he jumped.

"Oh Francesca!" J.D. turned around, suddenly feeling 5 feet smaller than he was. "Mr. Hamilton's blood pressure is at a normal level, finally, no thanks to you, and Mrs. Duncan finally came out of her coma, but not because of your ho-hum medical care. You seem to think that the best way to take care of a patient is by neglect and misdiagnosis, followed by letting your less-than-capable interns do all your work." Keith Dudemeister, the intern currently surpassing almost all residents and attendings with his "magical hands" (a term Elliot had affectionately coined. Whether or not it had to do with his doctor skills was something no Sacred Heart employee was brave enough to ask.) exited a patient's room and announced:

"That was a close one, but I think I saved that man's life." Dr. Cox nodded his way.

"Of course, I wasn't counting Keith, since you seem to hate him so damn much, you don't give him any work, on the off chance he'll make you look bad. But, NEWSFLASH Maria, he already has, and I'll tell you how: just by standing next to you." Dr. Cox laughed and patted himself on the shoulder. "OH...no he didn't!" Dr. Cox left J.D. feeling guilty and less than confident about his "doughy physique." Turk hit him on the shoulder.

"Keith's not more attractive than you are." He admitted reassuringly. J.D. nodded.

"I-I know. Okay, I don't know. Brown bear, hold me!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Camilla Reid slinked into Sacred Heart, with designer shades, designer jeans, and an attitude only a model could work. She removed her sunglasses and went to the front counter, gave her famous hair flip and called the closest nurse to attention.

"Excuse me?" Carla turned to face her.

"Yes?"

"I'm here for Elliot Reid? I'm her-" Carla put down the case chart she was studying.

"Sister, I know. In fact, most people here already know about you." Camilla giggled.

"Oh, so Elliot's talked about me a lot?" Carla giggled along with her.

"Actually, no. The boys found you in Sports Illustrated. Nice tattoo, by the way." Camilla blushed and shrugged it off.

"Ah well. What can I do? I guess it comes with the career." Carla raised an eyebrow. Obviously, she was unimpressed. "So, do you know Elliot?" Carla nodded.

"Yeah, she's one of my best friends." Camilla sighed.

"Oh, that is so cute! I used to call Kate Moss mine, but you know. The whole coke head thing was way out of my league." Still bored, Carla returned to studying the case chart. "Hmm, so I'll just go and find-"

"Cammie?" Elliot cried, coming round the corner.

"Ellie!" The sisters ran and embraced. "Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you! I've missed you so much!" Elliot nodded.

"I've missed you too! I have so much to tell you!"

"And I have so much to tell you!" Dr. Cox entered the hospital after his lunch break, and joined Carla, watching the blondes gab at an unnatural speed.

"Who's that?" Carla shook her head.

"Elliot's sister." Dr. Cox nodded.

"Sooo, Barbie and Skipper!" Camilla turned around and put her hand on her hip.

"Excuse me, what did you just call-Perry?" Dr. Cox squinted, more out of disbelief than anything else.

"Camilla?" Camilla smirked.

"In the flesh."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Carla and Elliot exchanged glances.

"I'm here visiting my sister. I assume you work here." Dr. Cox nodded.

"Yeah...so you're Barbie's sister?" Camilla shrugged.

"I'm Elliot's sister. Not so sure about Barbie, considering that term is degrading to beautiful, blonde women." Camilla moved in closer to him. "Why the hell haven't you started calling me that?" Dr. Cox laughed and leaned back on the counter.

"You haven't changed a bit."

"Excuse me," Elliot interrupted, "but how exactly do my sister and my boss know each other?" Camilla, not breaking eye contact with Dr. Cox, answered.

"Well, I broke up his marriage, for starters."


	2. The Past Revealed

Elliot Reid was on the verge of cardiac arrest.

"Did you just say you broke up his marriage?" Dr. Cox shook his head.

"What she meant, Barbie, was keep your nose in your own business." Camilla slapped Dr. Cox upside the head. "Hmm...I'm gonna go ahead and say 'Ow!'"

"Don't be rude to my sister!" Dr. Cox looked disgusted.

"Are you saying that, every time I make a snarky comment about Barbie over there, you're going to slap me?" Camilla shrugged.

"It's quite possible."

"Then I'm going to go away now." Dr. Cox left in a hurry, causing Camilla to smile slyly to herself. Camilla chuckled, and spun around to see Carla and Elliot, waiting.

"What?" Camilla asked nonchalantly. Elliot's eyes widened.

"Why did you break up their marriage?" Camilla sighed.

"Time and place, Ellie. Time and place."

0o0o0o0o0o0

While Elliot was off giving Camilla a tour of the hospital, Carla was getting all the information she could about Dr. Cox's marriage to Jordan.

"I don't know much, except that Dr. Cox was angry. He punched me a couple times when I helped him file." Ted had told her.

"I know it was Jordan who filed for divorce, and some cheatin' was goin' on. Mmm, surest way to hell is cheatin'." Lavern let her know, and then proceeded to tell her the top ten other ways to get a first class ticket to the devil's bedside.

"Well Dr. Cox's old intern buddy slept with Jordan. I walked in on them fighting; I thought they were fighting over me at first." J.D. reminisced, before drifting off into his own mind. Carla gathered this information, but sadly, it was all old news. She knew all about those things. She wanted to know about Camilla, and how she managed to break apart their marriage, without Carla's knowledge.

She assumed Camilla had some sort of fling with Dr. Cox; that was pretty obvious. The way they made googly eyes at each other upon their meeting. But the question was: how long did this fling last? Was it a one-night stand, was it a long affair? Carla could rule out the one-night stand theory: they were obviously closer than a random hookup.

Then, as if to answer Carla's prayers, Jordan Sullivan strutted her stuff through the entrance of Sacred Heart. She paused at the counter to talk to Carla, as she always did when she came in.

"Jordan, can I ask you a question?" Carla asked, after exchanging pleasantries. Jordan shrugged.

"Shoot."

"Why did you and Perry divorce?" Jordan turned her head to the side (very similar to J.D.) and smiled.

"It was the perfect combination of adulterous spouses, alcohol, and an abandoned wife." Carla bit her lip.

"Okay, so that's really vague. Give me the really, juicy dirt." Jordan raised her eyebrows.

"Why do you want to know?" As Carla was about to explain herself (or give the lame excuse she always gives when searching for hot gossip: "I need plot lines for my novel.") Jordan held up her hand to quiet her. "Don't worry, I like hear myself talk." Carla breathed a sigh of relief. "The first time I realized I wanted a divorce, I was home, alone as usual, with alcohol close by."

_Jordan Sullivan-Cox was waiting. Waiting for her husband, waiting for her punishment, waiting for her life. She was always waiting. She chuckled sadly, remembering the earth-shattering sex she had just had only hours before. The only problem: it hadn't been with her husband. Jordan was a lot of things, but she wasn't a cheater. She had always remained faithful to Perry, even when it was difficult. Of course, that was over, and she had to face herself. She stood up and found her reflection in the nearest mirror. _

_"Stupid bitch." She called to herself, before drinking a long swig of vodka, straight from the bottle. Jordan dropped the bottle and staggered to the bathroom, half-drunk. She splashed mildly cold water on her face and patted dry, when something caught her eye. Shoved in the bathroom drawer was something pink and lacy. Normally, this wouldn't bother Jordan, and yet, there was something so peculiar about a sexy undergarment poking out from Perry's drawer. She yanked it open and discovered it a woman's thong, and it wasn't hers. _

"So then what?" Questioned an intrigued Carla, leading a group of equally intrigued nurses. Jordan shook her head.

"Do you ever work? Or do you live for the gossip around here?" Carla shrugged.

"Mainly the gossip." Jordan chuckled. "Alright, as I was saying..."

_Perry came home around midnight that night obviously exhausted. Jordan was still up, sitting in their dimly lit living room. _

_"Sorry, late shift." He motioned to give her a quick peck on the cheek. Their marriage had grown to awkwardness, so this was all he could muster. Jordan pushed him away. _

_"I'm sure it was." Her voice was icier than usual. Perry shrugged and headed towards their bathroom. Taped on the mirror was a pair of lacy pink panties. A message, written in lipstick, followed. _

Whose panties are these, Per?

Cause they sure as hell aren't mine.

You better be a cross-dresser...

P.S. This lipstick isn't mine either.

_Perry Cox was caught. His heart was pounding and he was more nervous than he had ever been. He tore down the panties just as Jordan came and joined him. _

_"Are you gonna tell me about her?" Perry shook his head. _

_"Nothing to tell." Jordan threw her glass at the mirror, the shards nearly missing Perry's head. _

_"Damn it, you son of a bitch! It's already pretty obvious you are cheating on me, so just tell me how long?" Perry was too scared not to answer. _

_"I...six months." _

"He cheated on you for six months??" Carla asked, in disbelief. Jordan nodded.

"And after two weeks of sex with any guy I could find, I filed for divorce."

"Wow." Carla muttered. "Have you ever met or seen the woman?" Jordan shook her head.

"Nah, she was Per's best-kept secret. Man, but if I ever met her…" Carla's eyes widened.

"What would you do?" Jordan smiled.

"I'd bury that slut."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0


End file.
